Off white
by Alice-Abi
Summary: Bella wakes up alone in the forest with no memories and just a letter from Victoria, who got her revenge. Please read this is the first time I have written a summary so the story is a lot better. PLease, please give this a go. Thanks.
1. Senses

**Hello everyone, this is going to be my first story that I am going to put up here. **

**I would appreciate reviews, please; especially where my writing needs to be improved. **

**Disclaimer: Every character I use in this story belongs to Stephanie Meyer. **

Chapter 1 - Senses

I was looking, but not seeing.

I was seeing, but not feeling.

I was feeling, but not quite comprehending.

If I was being completely honest, I was confused.

I had woken up in the middle of a forest, it was dark; maybe twilight. It was a forest that I was soon to learn, surrounded a town called Forks. And it is in this town that my life had and would change.

I was completely confused. 'Where am I?' I thought. I did not remember a thing; total and complete memory loss. 'What is my name?'

I felt the pockets of my jeans hoping for any signs as to what had happened. That was when I found it; the letter. I took it out of my back pocket and saw that it was just a piece of paper folded in half. And on the outside it had a name. 'Isabella'.

'Isabella, is that my name?' I thought to myself. I sighed deeply and unfolded the letter to read it. Inside the letter was written the words that would change my future, the present and quite possibly my past. It said:

'My, my, my, Isabella; what a situation you have found yourself in, or rather I have put you in. I doubt you will remember me but I certainly remember you. How could I not, for you ruined my life or rather made my life not worth living. You were a mystery to me and will continue to be so. I will be kind however and say one thing, give you one warning. Not everything is as it seems. You will now have to live for eternity in the shadows of your mind and if you happen to remember the past well that will not be pretty either. I ask you what good is living an eternity as a vampire, with no memory and being alone. You wished to be a vampire, I granted it. Maybe not in the way you wished for. But beggars cannot be choosers.

Bye now – 'V'

By the way you should probably hunt soon or there will be a blood bath for the people of that town.

­_______________________________________________________________________

A/N – There you have it! I hope you like it and slightly intrigued as to what is going to happen in the next chapter. I will try and update as soon as I can.

PLEASE review. PLEASE.


	2. Twenty Years Before

**SOOOOORRY I have not updated in so long I have been so busy. **

**Without further delay here is the next chapter…..**

Twenty years before

I was tired; no that is not the word to describe it I was shattered. My feelings were a live wire. I had stayed up all night, _all night,_ full of worry and fear. Fear for what had happened at my party, that stupid god forsaken birthday party that quite nearly turned into a bloodbath and a meal for some incredibly ravenous vampire friends; _me _that is almost being the food. And worry for how my overprotective vampire boyfriend will react now and what he is going to do.

I got up out of bed and went downstairs with the promise of a well deserved breakfast and then a wild goose chase trying to find a gorgeous Edward who was intent on avoiding me, it was like that song with the lyrics; 'when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.' However in this case it being Edward completely avoiding me. Well we will see!

I was digging through the kitchen cupboards (great looks like Charlie got to them!!) when there was a loud bang on my backdoor. I jump at the sound of it.

"Bella it's me, please let me in." Edward said in a very neutral voice. I sighed in relief and opened the door. There in all his glory stood Edward, his eyes were the brilliant topaz shade that they always were and his hair was exactly the same messy coppery brown. But something was different, he seemed more distant.

"Hi, do you want to come in?" I asked hesitantly.

"Actually I was wondering if you would take a walk with me in the forest." He spoke formally, not at all Edward. I started to get a numb feeling in the pit of my stomach. This was not right.

"Ok let me just grab my coat" I said; as I was still in my pyjamas. I grabbed my coat and put my trainers on. All the while Edward just started walking through my garden to the edge of the forest. Where the trail was that I first put two and two together and decided that it did not matter what Edward was, that I was in too far.

I shut my door behind me and walk towards him careful not to fall over like always. We had barely even stepped on the path when he started the speech that would lead me on a downward slide to the things that would make and break me; and to a place that I never wanted to go.

"Goodbye Bella, we are leaving, you will never see me again." And with that he was gone and my world was shattered. But little did I know that this was not the last time I would hear that sentence. It would be a part of me for a very long time, I just didn't know it yet.

**Please, please, please review. Even if you did not like it… thanks…. **


	3. Forks

**Hello, everyone I have decided to continue with this story, I hope you enjoy it.**

Chapter 3 - Forks

Great, my first day back in forks and I was already running late. I had come back to the town that I woke up in as I felt a part of me was still here. There but unreachable. I had enrolled in forks high school as it gave me a great cover story now that I was free. I am just going to stand out as even more than usual, I whispered to myself. I had to go hunting before I stepped anywhere near, a school swarming with students my throat would burn like hell but hey, I needed a normal life a new start. But did I deserve it? I had become a vegetarian eater, meaning I only drink the blood of animals, with my own intuition. I had never drunk from a human, but this was due mainly to the fact that I never got a choice in that matter. As I was hunting, I came across a familiar river, it had expanded in the fifty years that I had last been beside it but I remembered those memories now, no matter how hard I had fought to forget them.

_You see when I woke up in the forest of forks; I had stayed there for about four days trying to remember what had happened before I woke up. I fought the note was a joke; vampires did not exist or did they? I could not be sure, a part of me believed it. I must be delusional I thought or crazy, either way this was insane. _

_After a while, I stood up, too fast for a human to achieve. My hearing was immaculate I can hear the cars on the highway even though I am in the middle of a forest. I could hear ants crawling on the ground; I was beginning to get a little bit apprehensive. What had I become. A vampire? That is just crazy. I could see extremely well given that, it is the middle of the night. I fell to my knees and scrambled in the direction of running water. When I reached it, I looked at my reflection that the moonlight was casting. I let out an ear-piercing scream. My eyes were red. Blood red. I hit my reflection in an attempt to find that I had just created the image. When the ripples had stilled I looked again, I had become a monster. I was about to stand up when I heard a chuckle, I looked around and saw a man; he looked about the same age as me, tall and very muscular, with blonde hair. My mind registered all of this in a second. But my mind froze when it noticed that his eyes were red, blood red, redder than mine were. _

"_Who are you?" I asked. A part of me told me that he was dangerous and that I needed to run. The instinct was so strong I almost did. However, I needed answers so I ignored the feeling. "What happened?" I whispered. During my questions he had began to move slowly towards me, he had a sneer on his face and looked at me with hatred. Before I could defend myself, he lunged at me and grabbed me from behind. As his arms snaked around me, he whispered in my ear._

"_My name is Riley and you have ruined my whole life" he whispered menacingly "you took the one I love away from me and now you will suffer the pain and satisfy me in ways than you could never imagine." He put his lips to my neck and kissed it. Then he bit down and I felt an almost unbearable pain filling my senses… _

At that moment, I managed to push the memory to the back of my mind where I wish it would stay with all the others I had buried. I crouched down next to the river and looked at my reflection like I had all those many years ago as I looked at myself I could feel my anger rising, I punched the water. "You are a monster! You were a monster then and you even more of a monster now. Your eyes may be brown now and not red but you are still evil, evil!" I began to dry sob. After five minutes I got up, I looked at myself one more time; I could see the scars that my clothes could not cover up invisible to humans but not to vampires. I hated those scars and I hated myself, turned around and sprinted in the direction of my car. I shot into it, turned the key in the ignition and the music began to blare through my speakers, with that I sped off. With any luck I would only be five minutes late.

I got to the school in record time, even for my driving. I went to the reception and picked up my timetable. The women gave me a map, which I glanced at then shoved, into my bag. First period was English literature. That is not a bad start, I thought to myself. As I walked towards the English building, I noticed that the students were pointing and whispering at me. The smell hurt, but not as much as I thought, it would. A girl she looked around the age of fifthteen and she was very slender, she had chin length brown hair, "hi, my names Bree. How is your first day going?" she asked softly.

"It's going ok so far" I replied. "What's your next class?"

"English, I was put up a year, so I in your class" she replied. As I entered the English block, I smelt an unfamiliar scent, the scent of a vampire. I had to stifle the growl the almost escaped my lips. I froze for a second and Bree halted as well, "Come on, we will be late" she said and tugged my arm. I continued walking. Why were there vampires in forks? Why were they in this school? Why now? All of these questioned through my mind. But I had to take a chance; after all, I had learnt to defend myself. I walked in keeping my eyes on the ground; I walked up to the teacher and introduced myself. He said hi and directed me to sit in the empty seat at the back. As I walked closer, I could tell that whoever was at the back was a vampire. I looked up and saw an extremely beautiful vampire, with long silky blonde hair. She had the same eye colour as mine, which confused me. She looked confused herself and almost like, she wanted to cry. I pulled the seat out and sat next to her as far away as the table would permit. When I sat down, she turned towards me. "Bella? Bella is that you?" she whispered so that no humans would here. I froze, how did she know my name? I decided that the only way to deal with this was to ignore her. Eventually she got the picture and I sat waiting for the bell to ring so I could get as far away from her as I could.

When the bell rang I left immediately, she was right on my heels. "You don't remember me, do you?" she said. I turned to look at her.

"I do not. I am sorry but maybe you have the wrong person. My name is Isabella." I whispered.

And with that, I walked to my next class. I just had near the door, when I smelt another scent. I walked in and heard a screech, I was early and it was only me and a huge muscled vampire, he terrified me. "Oh my god is that really you Bella?" he spoke and in the same second grabbed me. I was terrified and began to struggle, he was so much stronger than I was but I used my defence and managed to slip out of his grasp, I threw one punch, which landed, in his chest it was a warning punch and with that, I turned out of the class and ran at a frustratingly slow human pace. I had just reached my car when three completely different vampires surrounded me. I knew I was outnumbered and I saw that one of the male vampires was covered in bites, he was a fighter. I had to try though managed to doge past two vampires, but then a male grabbed me from behind and ignored my protests. He sent a calming wave towards me and I realized he was an empath.

"Bella?" the petite pixie looking one said, "I thought you were dead.

**Please, please review, I hope it was good. When I started this story I had many things going on and I could not commit, but this story is no longer on hold and will be updated regularly. Please review.**


	4. The Past

**Here is chapter three, hope you enjoy, sorry it's a little on the small side. Stefenie Mayer owns all.**

**Enjoy.**

Chapter Four - The past

Alice's point of view

"Bella?" I asked "I thought you were dead. Memories flooded back of that fateful night when I had the vision of Bella's death. Now transformation.

_I had been sitting on the edge of the bed next to Jasper, he had his arms wrapped around me, I was so happy, it was our anniversary. He was whispering in my ear, when a vision so powerful, stole my senses, all I could do was focus on what my vision showed me. Bella in the middle of the forest, sorrounded by Victotia. She threatened to kill us, she made her beg for our lives. She spent so long being tortured that by the time victoria decided to kill her, her eyes were lifeless. But the thing was she looked lifeless before Victoria tortured her, she hads scars and she looked so thin. I watched as Victoria walked towards her, got down and pressed her lips against her neck, I watched as she bit down hard and began to drain her and simoultaniasly her future went black ands she was lost. I came out of the vision and found myself on the floor. Jasper was crouched beside me and he was radiating panic and worry…_

I watched as she fought and struggled in Jasper's arms. She knew she was outnumbered and she knew that struggling was in other vampire's presences stupid. All around her neck were scars, she looked completely disfigured. Edward was a fool to think he could alter a destiny and even more of a fool to think that Bella could survive without him. A person has a destiny in life, they may be able to change it, but some things are set in stone. Edward knew that, he knew my vision of Bella as a vampire was set in stone yet he ruined everything by sending us away and now everything was so messed up.

"Let me go, who are you?" She spoke with venom. The Bella I knew would never talk like that. But she was no longer the Bella we knew before she was someone else.

"I'm Alice Cullen, we are friends Bella. You need to calm down so we can help you remember." I watched her keep staring at Edward, that was good, she recognised him. But she did not stop struggleing. "We are going to take you home Bella, we will help you remember who we are." I said.

Jasper and Edward began to tow her towards our car, still a silver volvo, just a brand new one as it had been so long since Bella was a human. She had stopped struggling instead she began to tremble. "Please don't hurt me, I will do anything you want just please don't hurt me." She whispered in a voice that broke my heart.

"We would never hurt you Bella we want to hurt you." I replied. We got Bella into the cab and I shut the door. Jasper looked at me and his eyes held sadness.

As I began to drive away Bella began to scream an ear peircing scream and when I looked at her she was in a faraway world and whatever was there scared the hell out of her.

**So there you have it I hope you enjoyed it, please review, next chapter is All the Cullens Point of veiw and a bit of Bella's. **

**Please review.**


	5. Wilted Flowers

**This chapter is going to have three charectors points of veiw, but it says at the start of the paragrath if it is someone elses veiwpoint. I hope you enjoy this chapter. **

Chapter Five – Wilted flowers

(Jaspers Point of view)

I was so shocked when I saw Bella; she was supposed to be dead. But here she was running towards her car, a vampire. A vegetarian vampire. And as I grabbed her and she began to struggle, I could see the scars all over her neck, bites. Who did that to her? As Alice told her, she was going to take her home, her fear and pain increased to a new level and I could barely focus on what I was doing. I tried to calm her but unfortunately, she seemed to be in a place that was beyond my power. As I sat beside her, she screamed and shouted; it was as if she was trying to fight some one off her. When we got back to the house, we towed her to Edwards's room and laid her on the bed. Venom began to leak from the corners of her eyes and she stopped moving. Rosalie offered to stay with her and Edward reluctantly agreed. We went down to the dining room and sat around the table.

"How is she?" Carlisle asked, he looked around the table and stopped at me. I shook me head and sobs escaped my body I could still feel her pain and I was not letting up.

"I don't know, at the moment not too well, she is in tremendous pain. And she does not remember us at all, this is going to be hard," I whispered. Esme looked hurt and I knew that was because her daughter did not remember us. We sat in silence, and Edward got up and began to pace.

"What should we do, how can we help her?" Emmett asked.

"We keep her here, we make her remember and we solve whatever is haunting her now." Edward replied. And I knew ultimately it was his decision as well as Bella's.

(Rosalie's Point of view)

Here I was, with my family in Forks, Washington and I could not help but feel happy and sad at the same time. We were finally a family again, well sort of. We had not been a in so long, I am not sure we even could. The last time we had been here, we had been a family; we had our ups and our downs. We had been happy we had known happiness then. I will never forget the day Edward fell in love with Bella or the day that he had decided to leave her. Both circumstances had changed him completely. And apparently, it had changed Bella too. Here she was lying on the bed, and she had stopped moving. As I let Bella remember whatever it was she was remembering, I floated back to the past as well.

When we left Bella, I had been happy. I thought that it was the right thing to do; I thought she deserved a human life, why would she want to be turned into a vampire; we were damned. When Alice had her vision of what she thought was Bella's death it hit the whole family hard. I had been pleased that she would have a normal human life but it was apparent that that was impossible. We managed to convince Edward that he needed to stay alive, for Bella's sake, she would never forgive him if he tried to commit suicide.

Two months after her supposed death, Edward left, he went to track and kill Victoria. He also had given up on not doing anything; it hurt him too much. He was just an empty shell when he left, he did not tell anyone he was going until he had. Alice saw it in a vision she told us he had said goodbye. I know I had always seemed selfish and everyone including Emmett thought I had hated Bella. The truth was I had loved her, I loved her innocence and I had envied her mortality and now she had died long before her time. I realised that what had happened to me before I had turned into a vampire and the way that I had been turned still affected me. I loved my brother and knew how selfish I had been, I knew I needed to sort myself out before I could help my family morn. I told Emmett that I needed to leave, that I needed time to come to terms with my past, he naturally wanted to come with me but I refused. He was not going to let go anytime soon, so I said what I needed too make him let me go. "Emmett you need to let me do this by myself, you need to let me go. If you loved me you would let me." He looked like I had slapped him across the face, but he held his arms up to hug me. I let him. "I understand" he said "and when you need me you will no where to find me". I did not say goodbye to anyone else, I let him drive me too the airport though for one last goodbye. "Stay safe, as will I and I will be home before you no it. And when I'm home I will never have to leave again." And with that, I turned and strode onto the plane leaving the love of my life behind in our home in Michigan.

I had decided that I would go and see all of the places I had always wanted to see and I did, I went everywhere. I kept my phone turned off all the time, I checked it once a month and received regular updates of what was happening at home. Emmett told me that the family had almost fallen apart, Jasper could not take the houses emotions and he and Alice were days away from leaving. I was almost ready to go back but there was one last place I needed to visit first. I had never considered it until now; I went back to Rochester, New York. I had not been here in years, ever since I had first turned into a vampire and killed the rapist's that should have killed me. I visited Royce's grave and collapsed, I hit the dirt and I had a gaping hole in my chest. I yelled profanities at the gravestone and stayed there for hours. When it had left my system, I got up and left. I knew I would never need to come back to this place again as I had forgiven him. I took another six months to fully heal, during this time I had to deal with the hardest part. I needed to forgive myself. And believe that it was not my fault. After I had done that, I knew I could return home. Where I would stay inconceivably for the rest of eternity. And I could begin to help them grieve for Bella. I rang Emmett when I was ready to come home and he met me at the airport. When he saw me his face lit up, he could already see the difference in me, he wrapped his arms around me and said, well growled "you will never leave again" and I knew I never would. As we were driving home he told me what had happened since I had last switched the phone which was about six months ago. Jasper and Alice left, they had said that they needed an extended vacation and they would let him know when they were coming back, but did not know when that would be. He said he had left for four months as well, which really shocked me. He said he needed time too think.

Esme and Carlisle greeted me with hugs and kisses; they had not seen or heard from me in a little over a year. Esme sobbed and told me to never put her through that again; I said I would not. Five days after my return I rang Jasper and Alice, they answered in surprise. "Rose is that really you?" Alice asked. "Yes it is, I'm back at home now, I have helped myself and will now help this family to be a family once more. So when you and Jasper are ready get your butts home, just don't take too long about it," I begged. I called Edward and said the same thing. We stayed low in Michigan, Carlisle never worked as we knew we would be here long term.

We waited for years and eventually Edward returned, he was not the same, but he was calm. Twenty years later, Jasper and Alice returned and once again, we were a family. But we were not complete and we never would be. It had been sixty years since we found out Bella was dead when we decided we were going to come back to forks.

I came out of my body when I heard Bella talking, "Please don't do this, I'll do anything." She yelled and started fighting with the air. And as I watched, I began to realise what Bella was remembering. A rape. What had happened to her?

(Bella's Point of view)

"We are going to take you home Bella" Alice said and the vampire holding began to drag me towards the car. LIKE HELL YOU ARE! The voice in my head screamed and I began to struggle and I could feel my fear creep up on me that was not a good thing, as I had to keep my memories at bay. The other one began to help and when he joined in, I stopped struggling; I knew it would be pointless. As they put me in the car, the lid on my memories seemed to open and I remembered my time with Riley. I could not help but scream and I lost track of time.

After a while, I began to fight back and I began to repress them again. I could handle a memory one a time, but all together, it was a recipe for disaster. As I came to, I saw the beautiful vampire from my class, sitting next to me. She smiled at me and held out her hand towards me, "I'm Rosalie Cullen, I only want to help you" she said to me. I looked at the hand and looked around the room, for some reason I could remember this room. But why?

**There you have it, its longer than the last one, and theres a bit of cliffhanger. **

**Thanks for all of my reviews so far, I hope I did not disapoint you, let me know if you like this. Please review. **

**Take care **


	6. Remembrance

**Stephenie Meyer owns all.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

Chapter six - Remembrance

I did not take her hand. I sat up and looked around the room; I recognised it from somewhere. The southern wall was made up of glass and I could see out into the forest. The walls and carpet were gold in colour, the north wall was covered in masses of CD's, and there was an expensive looking CD player. I swung my legs of off the bed I way lying on and sat up. I walked over to the glass window and looked out into the forest. Why was this place so familiar to me?

"Where am I?" I asked. Rosalie came and stood beside me and I could see that she was not going to attack me. I could here the highway from where I was, so I knew that I was still in Forks or near Forks at least.

"We are in Forks forest, you are at my home Bella, and my family is downstairs." She answered, when I heard the word family I laughed. Vampires were covens; they existed for one reason and one reason only, power. I had seen my fair share of power hungry vampires; I did not need to again. She looked at me curiously when I began to laugh.

"Don't you mean cavern?" I whispered.

"No I mean family; there are seven of us in total. Bella are you sure that you do not remember us? You were once apart of this family too and we think of you still as a family member." She had walked over to the bed to sit down during her talk.

I was absorbed in her words that I did not here as more people joined the room, if I had been a part of her family, and then I would remember surely, unless she was referring to when I was human. I went into the pocket of my black skinny jeans to retrieve the note that I had woken up with. Who was 'V'? And if they knew me when I was human, then why had they not been there when I had been turned. The letter warned me that I would not want to know about my human life. But why? The only thing worse than knowing, is not knowing.

"Let's say I believe you, why did you think I was dead? And why can I not remember?" I whispered.

I sat on the floor and leant against the glass. The others sat around me. I looked into the one with golden, coppery brown hair. He took my breath away every time I looked at him, he was undeniably beautiful, and they all were including Jasper, with his many scars. I felt ashamed of being in their presence, they were civilised and pure and I was just dirty and unclean.

Edward came towards me and sat in front of me, he reached out to hold my hand. I did not pull away as I normally would; when our skin met, an electrical current seemed to flow though me. I wanted to pull away but at the same time, I did not want too.

"This is yours, your Mum gave it too you on your eighteenth birthday," he whispered to me.

He passed me a photo album. It was plain and simple, but it looked like it was more than a few years old. I opened the album and saw the first picture, it was one of Edward, and it looked like he was standing in a kitchen. Underneath the picture I saw my handwriting, a lot more messed up and scrawled than normal, I must have only been a human. I turned the page and saw myself standing beside Edward. I was very clearly a human, my eyes were chocolate brown and I looked very pale even for a human, my cheeks were a deep shade of red. And I just stared at the page.

"Oh"…

They say a picture say is worth a thousand words. Well that is not true. They say millions. As I stared at the photo, my handwriting. Me. I remembered everything. The photo book fell from my hands and I shot up I was standing on my feet in less than a mille second. It felt like I could fall through the floor. And god knows I wanted to. I remembered those words; those words that have helped ruin me. 'Goodbye'.

I took the note and reread it one more time, whoever had wrote this was right, I would rather have not remembered. "She was right," I whispered to myself. Edward could see that I had remembered everything and that I was sad and angry.

"Bella?" He spoke and made a move to touch me. I pulled back and slapped him around the face, with nowhere near enough force to actually hurt him. I loved him. I always had even when I could not remember, there was still a gaping hole in my chest that would not leave.

"Don't you dare touch me! How dare you!" I yelled. I was furious, I may love him; but he had still hurt me. He looked surprised by my outburst. The whole family did, but I could not seem to bring myself too stop. "You left me! All alone! All of you. You are liars. I'm apart of this family; _sure_!" I yelled some more, referring to what Rosalie had said too me.

"Bella, it hurt me more than you will ever know to actually get up and leave. It felt like my whole world was collapsing around me. I left to protect you. I didn't want you to have this life," he pleaded. "I thought you would be safe, I didn't think Victoria would go after you." I had turned away from him during his rant.

"I love you, I always have. What I said was a lie. I want you as I always have. When I thought you were dead I almost died as well." He whispered and his voice sounded so broken that I turned to look him in the eyes.

I could tell he was sorry, but that did not change a thing. I was a whore now, unclean and impure. If I was not good enough then, I was certainly not good enough now. Before I could stop myself, I thought of everything that I had done. I was a whore…

(EDWARDS POINT OF VEIW)

"I know you're sorry and I'm sorry too, but that doesn't change a thing." She whispered.

With those words, it felt like the world was ending. Carlisle and the others left the room.

'Sorry man, I know this is hurting you, but she needs your help. She's heartbroken.' Jasper thought.

'Everything will work itself out Edward, remember I've foreseen it.' Alice said in a smug voice, while humming a tune in her head to block me from her thoughts.

'She needs you Edward; she will push you away though.' Rosalie thought sadly.

'I hope she will forgive us,' Esme thought faintly.

'Stay calm son, do not lose you temper,' Carlisle though.

I still could not read Bella's thoughts; she still had me blocked out completely. What I would give to be able to know what she was thinking.

"Bella, I love you and I always will, I don't care what has happened to you. And you don't need to tell me either, I will wait." I walked toward Bella and went to wrap me arms around her. As I was walking, she retreated.

"Please don't touch me, I'm dirty", she whispered. "But I will tell you all what happened to me, so you will build up the courage to leave me again. That way you will be safe, I'm dangerous you see."

I took her in my arms and held her tightly. My heart soared and I could feel the electrical current run through us. "I am not going anywhere, love." I whispered.

**I hope you like it, the next chapter will explain everything. What happened when the Cullens left Bella, how Victoria got hold off Bella, and how long she had her before Bella was changed. And what happened afterwards. Please review this chapter! Thanks. **

**!Thanks as well to my beta Annika Malfoy!**


	7. Sucker love

**Hi, guys I am sorry it has been so long since I last updated, I have been so busy with coursework. Hope you like this chapter.**

Chapter seven – Sucker love

Edward and I went down stairs. The rest of the family, having heard our conversation, had already convened there. They had crowded around the white couches in the living room. Jasper and Alice were nestled together on the floor. Esme was sitting on the armchair next to the couch with Carlisle standing behind her. Rosalie and Emmett were standing by the glass windows, keeping their distance.

I took deep unnecessary breath in an attempt to calm myself. I was incredibly scared of what their reactions to my story would be. Edward held my hand and rub soothing circles on the back of it. I allowed him to do this, even though, I knew every touch we shared would break me when he left again.

I had simultaneously forgiven them all, for leaving me, when I was still human. They were not responsible for anything that had happened to me since. The blame was my own.

"Before I begin, I need you too know something. My story is not nice and I have done many horrible things. I am not sweet and innocent anymore, but the truth is: I don't think I ever was." I took another deep breath and closed my eyes. I tried to go back to the beginning; to where it all began. I decided I would only tell them the outline, without going into details.

"When you said goodbye to me on the forest floor, Edward, I was not ready for it to be over. I loved you and when you left it felt as if my whole existence had gone. You took my heart with you and I have only really just got it back." I whispered. "I tried to follow you, I ran through the forest screaming for you, sobbing my heart out. It was night time before I stopped running. I had lost my footing, as I could not see the forest floor, and fell. I landed in a puddle and began to pound the forest floor. As I said, I lost a part of me that night, a piece of me died. I found it hard to even breathe." I looked around; everyone looked guilty, but Edward looked the worst. I decided to focus on the floor. I knew that everything was going to go downhill soon.

"I was lost for two weeks and when I eventually made it too the main road, I just collapsed. A nice woman found me and drove me too the hospital. I never did get her name." I paused for a second and took a deep breath. "When I eventually got discharged, time just sort of continued without me. I was left behind. I went to school, came home, did my homework and tried to sleep. I began to slowly loose my appetite. Charlie's" my throat burned as I said his name "behaviour towards me began to change. It seemed the more withdrawn I became, the more drawn towards me he became."

"I felt like a zombie most of the time. I sat by myself at school. I did not talk to anyone and did not listen to anything that was going on around me. Five months of that behaviour cost me everything, Renee said she wanted me too get help and until I did she did not want to have contact with me. She said that she found it too hard too watch her baby girl lose herself. By the time, she said that it was too late; Charlie had taken our father/ daughter relationship to a different level. I will not go into the details but he began to abuse me in every way imaginable. This carried on up to the week before my 19th birthday. When I could not take it anymore, I ran away; into the forest. That was where Victoria found me. I had already been broken she saw that. She made the decision to change me as it proved a much greater revenge for her. She roughed me up first and that must have been why, when I woke up, I had no human memories. She left me a note which I woke up with."

I looked at Esme and saw that she had a horrified expression on her face, and I saw that everyones' emotions were beginning to be too much for Jasper. Rosalie had left the room when I told them about Charlie. Emmett had gone with her.

"_She must hate me more no."_ I thought to myself.

I had decided that what happened with Riley would be kept secret from them. What he did to me was worse than Charlie or Victoria.

"When I woke up, I was caught by someone called Corin," I lied "He said that he was looking for a new fighter for his army and that I would be perfect. I fought in a few southern wars, before I escaped. I learned how to feed on animal blood and then I began to roam around going from school to school. Fifty years later you found me." I whispered. I had never been very good at lying and I hoped that that had changed.

Esme came and gave me a hug. And, for the first time in so long, I felt like I belonged somewhere. But I also realized that I had become thirsty during my speech and spoke,

"Listen, I need to go hunting. You're welcome to come with me if you'd like."

Jasper jumped up,

"I'll come Bella, and I need to talk to you."

**Please review, I hope it was good.**


	8. I choose to use

**Hey guys, enjoy…**

Chapter eight – I choose too use

As Jasper and I left the house, I was incredibly nervous. We had not spoken since I was human at my birthday meal, when he nearly killed me. The scars on his body told me that he was a skilled fighter, this knowledge didn't help my nervousness. And, thanks to his gift, he may have been able to tell that I had lied to them all.

The second we entered the edge of the forest, I took of running with Jasper behind me. I was painfully aware of my senses, turning your back on a vampire was not in our nature. It took a great deal of trust.

"Bella?" Jasper spoke behind me.

I immediately stopped and turned to face him. He was looking at me in a strange sort of way. It looked almost calculating.

"Stop me, if you can." He whispered.

Before I could do anything he had leapt over me and prepared to attack me. I had never been taught self-defense, as a human or a vampire, so before I could move an inch, he had his arms around me.

I could not help the involuntary scream that escaped my lips, as I was once again vulnerable. The second the sound escaped my lips, Jasper immediately let go of me and came around too face me. I backed away from him and found myself backing into a tree.

"Why lie Bella?" he asked in a frustrated voice.

I could not make sense of those words. He had just tried to attack me.

"What?" I breathed out.

"If you were involved in and lived through any southern wars, you would have been able to stop me. I attacked you at a snail's pace. Tip ,if you want to make up a lie, make up one that can be believable." He spoke, sitting down on a log.

I took a deep breath and went to join him. As I sat down, I began to feel less anxious.

"Relax Bella. If I really wanted to hurt you, I would have done so already." He whispered.

"I didn't lie Jasper. I just haven't fought in a long time."

"Don't lie Bella. Not only is your story unbelievable but your emotions are too. Why lie?"

I knew he had caught me and I would have to eventually tell them the truth. I owed it to them.

"I didn't have a choice. You will all come to hate me in the end." I spoke softly feeling like I was going to fall apart at the seams. I held on though.

"Let me tell you something of hate, Bella. I know hate. I was raised in it. I had a different upbringing to the other Cullens. As you may be aware I am a trained killer, a vampire called Maria turned me. Maria made me live my life fuelled with hate and greed. I did not know any better, until I met Alice. She saved me from myself. She saw me coming, of cause. We could never hate you, Bella. Regardless of what you have done or what you think you've done."

"Your bites, though on your neck, are different to mine. Mine were inflicted for power and hate. Yours however have a different meaning behind them. There was talk in the southern wars that women were weaker than males. I do not believe this, but others did. Some went as far as to make a newborn females their 'pets' as they put it," when he said the word, I could not help sharp exhale of air and the look of shock on my face. When Jasper heard it, he turned towards me with a look of terror in his eyes. "Who did it, Bella?" he whispered.

I rejected his words immediately, he could not possibly know about Riley. I had not let it slip or anything. I stood up and walked away from him.

"Your wrong, Jasper. You do not know anything."

"Don't I, Bella?" he replied, as I began to run from him. I ran as fast as I could and I did not look back.

**RPOV**

As I stood by the window and listened to Bella's story, I began to see red. When she spoke of what Charlie had started doing to her, I mean her own father! For Christ's sake!

I could not take much more of what she was saying. Emmett sensed my pain immediately and took hold of my hand. We quietly left the room and went deep into the forest. I punched a tree and Emmett stood back letting me vent out my anger. He always knew what too do. When the anger had gone, the pain followed, along with sadness.

I was in pain, remembering how it had hurt me, short term and long term. How much more it would have hurt Bella having her own father do that too her. To take her virtue, to violate her, rape her, however you want to put it, the effect is the same. But not once, repeatedly.

I had sunk to the floor and Emmett had grabbed me before I could fall completely. I hugged him and sobbed into his chest for the longest time.

After a while, I realized that the family including Bella, needed me. I had managed to take control of this pain before. I would do it again.

As we headed back to the house, I heard Jasper speaking.

"Some went as far as to make newborn females their 'pets' as they put it. Who did it, Bella?" he asked.

I had heard the term loosely in the vampire world. Vampires having pets only happened in the darkest places for our kind. Near the south. I realized that Bella had lied.

As I heard her run from Jasper I began too follow her, Emmett stayed behind. I was determined to help her and save her from whatever had been done to her.

As I followed her scent, I remembered how lost I had been, how I had pushed everyone else away. Until someone reached, out and saved me.

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review. I would also like you to voice what you don't like and what is good.**

**REVIEW  
PLEASE**

**THANKS AGAIN TO ANNIKAMALFOY MY BETA**


	9. Another love I would abuse

Hey guys hope you enjoy.

Chapter nine- Another love I would abuse

EPOV

How could this have happened. For the last fifty years since I had left Bella I had been feeling sorry for myself. Missing her terribly wishing I had made a different choice. this was all my fault I had done this too her. I did not deserve her and yet she was still frightened that now that she had found me I would leave her again. I would never leave her again.

Jasper sensed my angish and sent me a wave of calm in which I was extremly thankful for. I couldn't believe that she had been involved in the southern wars, but there was bites on her neck and a few on her face. These were the only places that were uncovered and they were consitant with the life of someone who had been in a vampire army.

When she had finished I could see that she was visably thirsty and knew she should go hunting. I was shocked when she offered us to join her. And even more shocked when Jasper said that he needed too and that he needed to talk to her. I tried too search his mind but he was blocking me. This made me worried to which he sent a wave of calm my way.

'Don't worry Edward I just need to say sorry about what happened at her birthday party' he thought to me. And I managed to take a deep breath of calm. I watched my angel walk out of the room and knew that she would be back.

After what felt like an eternity Jasper and Emmett came back without Bella, they were now both blocking me and I was on my feet instantly.

"Where is she?" I almost growled. Emmett looked at me shocked and stopped in his tracks.

"Calm down Edward, she is fine." Jasper said and tried sending me a wave of calm too which I fought back.

"If she is fine than where is she and why are you blocking me?" this time I did growl and Esme reprimanded me. I ignored her.

"She lied too us before Edward, she was never in any southern war army. I knew straight away, when she told us. When we went too hunt I confronted her about it. She ran off and Emmett found me." Jasper told me.

I saw red then. "Are you an idiot, she ran and you just let her go. You come back here. Instead?" I yelled. I almost took a lunged for Jasper when alice suddenly jumped onto my back and whispered in my ear.

"Don't you dare Edward, I saw that. I've also seen that she is going to come back so pipe it down now!" her voice was deadly and made me calm down.

"Rosalie went after her man," Emmett said too me "from what I heard she needs her."

Since Rosalie pulled this family back together before I trusted her completely. I sat down on the couch and the others all gathered round. Carlisle left for work and I sat in silence.

Jasper and Emmett still didn't let on what Bella had said too them and I was starting too go out of my mind. Bella had lied too us and I wanted too know why. Jasper sensed my worry and tried to calm me.

"Listion Edward, I will tell you what she said but I need you too stay calm. You remember that I told you once about what it was like in the south?" I nodded "Do you remember when I told you about the really dark places in the south, the places where females are not equal to men." He whispered.

I nodded confused, I searched his head again and saw his conversation with Bella.

"No, that can't be." I pleaded with him, he got up and came towards me grabbing and squeezing my hands.

My poor beautiful Bella did not deserve that.

BPOV

I ran from him and did not stop. My memories were beginning too consume my mind again and I did not want to ever stop I reached the river again. The one I woke up near, that was when I stopped. I looked at myself in the mirror of water and screamed I pulled at my hair. I needed this pain to disapear. I didn't want to have to deal with I anymore.

I pulled my sleave up and put my wrist to my mouth. I had done this so many times when I felt like this and it always helped. I bit done hard and felt the venom in my mouth flow into my body. It hurt like hell but it destrated me from my memories and I began to sink to my knees. The angry fire travelled to the crease of my elbow and resigned there.

I gasped when I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder, I turned around and found myself looking into the soft eyes of Rosalie; as beautiful as ever. She looked at me then my arm. When she saw my fresh bite, she grabbed my wrist. I yelped and tried to pull it back from her, but her grip was stronger than mine.

"Oh Bella, what did you do that for?" She whispered gently while ripping some fabric from her tshirt and wrapping it around the bite. I took my shoes of and dipped my feet in the water. The veiw was beautiful. Rosalie sat with me looked me over. As I sat there memories began too creep back up as the pain in my arm receded. I knew Rosalie would stop me if I went to hurt myself again so I let myself remember.

_I was on the floor in the dark room that I had not left in about four months. Riley had done his worst to me this time. He thought I would bow down as I had so many times before, but I had gained back some willpower sitting the dark. When Riley entered he thought I would comply with his need to feel me up. I surprised him by hitting him in the chest. Since I had been in this room I had not had a single drop of blood and my strenght was almost unexistant. He did not like that at all and before I could do anything he had ripped of my arm and both of my legs. The pain shot straight to my head and I gritted my teath refusing to allow him to the satisfaction of hearing me whimper. _

_He then forced him on me, the pain of him being inside me hurt worse than the pain of having my legs ripped off. As I lay there with him panting above me, I blamed myself. I was weak and an easy target. I subcombed to him too easily and was now trapped. When he left I couldn't move, venom began to leak down my face. My limbs where still unattached and I could not even sit up. I wondered how long he would keep me like this…_

I looked towards Rosalie who seemed too be waiting for me too speak. But I didn't know what too say. Did she know what I'd said, what Jasper said? Did she hate me even more now?

"I know what your thinking Bella, I heard what you and Jasper spoke about. And I know what this means." Rosalie decided too speak first.

"I guess you hate me more now. But Jasper deosn't know what he is talking about." I whispered.

She put her hand on my shoulder and looked at me, I was shocked.

"I have never hated you Bella and never could. You are the heart of this family, when we left you are family died. We have only just got it back. I'm not going to make you talk too me. but I know what its feels like too be violated. To loose control. I want to help you. And the rest of the family does as well." She spoke sofly and looked into my eyes, there was only kindness and sympathy present.

"I need you too make a choice Bella. We will help you, but you need to choose too come back too the house with me. it's the only way we can help you."

I knew that she was saying she would not force me too come back and that I could trust her, but I did not know if I had it in me too make a decision.

"While we sit here though let me tell you my story." She added.

**I hope you enjoyed please read and review. **


	10. No circumstances could excuse

**Hey everybody I hope you enjoy this chapter. I thank everyone who have review the story, it helps me a lot. And thanks to my beta AnnikaMalfoy**

Chapter ten – No circumstances could excuse

RPOV

As I sat there next watching Bella, I could tell that she wanted help, but was unsure of how to ask for it and what to do in return. I contemplated telling her my story. Even though it was nothing compared to what she had been through, I felt that it was important to know that she wasn't alone.

"While we sit here, though, let me tell you my story," I spoke.

Bella looked at me intrigued and seemed to relax slightly as the focus of the conversation moved too me.

"I know something of how you are feeling Bella. When I was human, a similar experience befell on me. I grew up in a different time, it was 1933 in Rochester, New York. I was engaged to Royce king and I was so in love with the idea of love. I had just vistited one of my friends, who had just had a baby, and I was walking home. When I came across a group of drunken men. Royce was among them."

As I spoke Bella stared at me in horror. The sympathy she felt towards me was evident.

"I won't go into details of what they did. I'm sure you have an idea. They left me thinking I was dead. God knows, I wished I was. Calisle found and changed me. I spent the next two years wishing for death, until I found Emmett. He has help me a great deal, but there are still so many things I mourn over. For instance, the child I will never bare and the memory of that night, haunting me over and over."

During my speech Bella had turned away from me, her fists clenching, and her body taut.

"I'm not telling you this to make you feel sorry for me Bella. I'm trying to make you see that I know some of the feelings you're having and am here if you need me. When I was first turned, I pushed everyone who tried to help me away. I fought them until I could not fight anymore and let Emmett in. When your ready, you will do the same thing. I will always remember what they did to me and what it cost me, but I will always be thankful for it too. I surive my memories every day and they make me a fighter. One day you will feel like that too, but you cannot push us away Bella. You are part of this family and families do not judge. Let us help you, Bella."

When I finished speaking she took deep breaths and then turned to face me. She looked at me pitifully.

"I understand what you are saying, but your wrong. I was a vampire when Riley captured me, I should of fought him off. You were only a human when that happened to you. You were weak and you trusted him. When Charlie abused me, it was my fault too. You were inoccent, yet I'm guilty. And nothing you can say will ever change that fact." She whispered to me.

I looked in her eyes and saw that she genuenly believed what she was saying and my heart almost broke. I grabbed her wrist as she looked away and she snapped her head back towards me.

"Don't ever say that again, Bella. What happened was not your fault. Come home Bella, live a life that will make you happy. Give youself a chance." I whispered and she stood up.

Her shoulders slumped and she held her hand out for me. I took it and stood up. She nodded her head and we turned towards our home. She looked apprehensive but that was to be expected.

BPOV

As we made our way back, I started to panic. What if Rosalie was wrong? What if the family ended up hating me when Jasper told them? I was sure they could put two and two together and work out what "pet" meant, without an explanation from me.

As we neared the house, I stopped dead in my tracks. Rosalie stopped as well, she looked at me and sighed. She took my hand and pulled my statue-like state forward.

"Trust them Bella. Trust me." She spoke.

We walked up the steps and through the door. Alice and Jasper were sitting at the coffee table playing a game of chess. While Emmett and Esme were both sitting reading books on the couch. Calisle was nowhere to be seen and I guessed he must be at the hosipital.

When Emmett saw Rosalie, he put his book down and came towards her. He took her in his arms and pulled her towards the stairs, while giving me a cheery smile, that made me feel a little better.

Edward was sitting at the great white grand piano slumped over, I went and sat beside him. I did not look at him, but felt his eyes on the side of my head. I put my hands on the piano, looking at them, the skin was digusting covered in bites. Impossible for a human too see, which is why I didn't bother with anything to cover them up. Vampires, however could see them.

Edward gasped and went to hold my hand. I pulled away out of reflex and when I looked up, I saw the hurt within his eyes. Seeing it made me reach for his face, as I stroked his cheek, I felt the electricity flow through us again.

"Edward do you know what I've missed the most apart from the cure to my emptiness" I whispered and he shook his head. "Music. Will you play for me Edward, please." I answered.

His eyes lit up and he placed his hands over the keys and began to play my lullabye. As the music flowed through the room, in that moment I knew that I could get through whatever I needed to. We would do it together.

There was a time for explanations and sharing tales, but now was not the time. When that time came, I knew that we would get through it together. It may be hard work, but I knew that we would eventually.

The others very subtly left the room, leaving us to enjoy our reunion.I sat there staring into his eyes as he played for what felt like an eternity.

When he stopped, he reached forward to capture me in a kiss and I let him. The kiss was short, but held love and sincerity. I leaned into him, feeling stronger than I had in years.

For the first time since I could remember I had a genuine smile on my face.

I was happy but the voice in my head kept asking; How long would it last?

** Please, please review.**

**Abbey**


End file.
